DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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