I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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