i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
