my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
