Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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