in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it because I queefed?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You are the jesus of drinking
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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