I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
