Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
