Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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