Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
