this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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