I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
