Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
