Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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