Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
time to smoke my breakfast
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize