I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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