If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
