Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
