what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
God gave him joint rollers for hands
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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