for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
