Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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