it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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