I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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