If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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