We're facebook friends in real life
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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