Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
