i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
