Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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