some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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