Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
