im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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