The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
