2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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