Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
