And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i've created a new STD.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
