I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
