I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
