I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
