I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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