this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
