I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
