when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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