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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who is canola oil?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're an idiot.

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• (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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• (619): View more from California

  I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."

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