these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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