We're facebook friends in real life
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
