they need to just BURY HIM!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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