I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
