He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I love having hate sex.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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