The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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