foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
