You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
