I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
