I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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