HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
