i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
