hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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