just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
