Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
