the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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