fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have demons in me.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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