I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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