I am puke
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is my gift to your gina
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
