Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
