Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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