Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
