seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize