hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How does one acquire holy water?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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